MY TOXIC SIBLING STORY

 

MY TOXIC SIBLING

Hi all in this post I will be writing about my toxic sister who happened to be my biggest detractor. About after reaching 25, I gained insight into my sister's feelings of animosity and understood the reasons behind her resentment. There’s a game she’s been playing with me since childhood, I will write every detail of the game, so read it till the end.

The toxic sibling pattern

There is a pattern that almost every toxic sibling follows and I believe now that this game is being played not just in my house but it’s happening around the globe and there are many victims like me. I also believe that this is demonic work and not just a simple sibling estrangement.

SYMPTOMS OF A TOXIC SIBLING

They show love and talk to you nicely “only when your parents are around”. They act like they want to help you in learning things but they intentionally teach you wrong techniques. They trouble you to a soul wrenching level when you are alone at home with them. They cannot bear your progress. They just cannot take it when someone appreciates you. They are happy whenever you are not. They pretend to help you especially in front of your parents and they take you to a side and yell abusive words at you. Willingly they take bad photos of you. Willingly they take possession of the things you love, it might be your dress or an earring. They are very obedient to parents. They are like a “gift of God” to parents and both your toxic sibling and the evil forces work hand in hand to turn you into a “curse to parents”.

Seed of jealousy

There is a seed of jealousy implanted deep inside them right from their childhood and it grows with age. The seeds are quite similar, it might be about the appearance, the color of skin, intelligence etc. This toxicity is not built in them all of a sudden. It takes its roots from childhood and grows with age and meanwhile the toxic sibling learns how to be wise as a snake and act to be gentle as a dove in front of parents.

In my case my sister was jealous of me because I am born with a fair skin and she has dark skin. I am not at all good at academics, she is excellent at it, but still she cries for what she doesn’t have and never cherishes of what she has.

People around us especially relatives who keep visiting very often pour water to this seed and make it grow stronger and stronger. Every time they visit they make sure to pass a comment which leaves a blue print in the toxic sibling’s young mind. They compare and make their impression. They bring out this negatively comparing words when there are people around, this shame gears up anger in the toxic sibling and then the devil seeps in and quietly whispers in the ears, “look, all of this is happening because of your sister/your brother, she/he is the reason everybody is putting you to shame, it’s all because of your brother/sister”.

When kids talk to their parents about this, say how much they are hating the younger one, parents they don’t take it seriously, instead they try to convince them that it’s just your feeling. They say they love all their kids equally and not to listen to what others have to say. From this point on, the toxic one stops expressing their feelings and stops sharing emotions with parents. The demonic spirits teach the toxic kid to manipulate. Teach them to act love. Teach backstabbing techniques. Once the toxic one is all grown up then the real game is on.

My story

I have a sister who hates me till date. You can learn all about sibling hatred here. I am sure you don’t need another article on sibling toxicity. She is so brilliant in this. If someone is planning to be a toxic sibling from now on, then you have a guru here, my sister, so read on.

On one afternoon, me and my sister were alone at home, our parents and grandparents went out, I asked her to press no. 5 in TV remote because I wanted to watch something in that channel and what she did then left me with goose bumps. She pretended as not listening and she was still. No movement at all. I asked her again. No movement at all. I asked again, I was confused this time because I had no clue what was running in her mind. She gave a sudden angry look and she started pressing the remote. She started with one, slowly she moved to channel no. 2 and then 3, slowly pressed 4, and she went to 6, then 7, then 8 and 9. She went back to the channel she was watching. I was 12 years old then. It was then and on that very day I realized she is wicked and she does have pure hatred for me, nothing else. I understood the level of mind usage she is putting in to hate me. Whatever she did to me since my childhood flashed before my eyes at once and I was in tears. Somewhere and somehow she became dead to me.

When I was 5 years old, it was summer vacation time and I was apart from her for more than a month. When I saw her returning, I ran to hug her and she pushed me so hard that I fell some 5 or 6 foot away. I got tears in my eyes. That was my first encounter with her hatred. 

We both liked our aunt (my mother’s sister) very much and somehow she was successful in turning my aunt away from me. Then I saw this pattern repeating. With whomever I get close with, be it a neighbor or a cousin she would get even more close to them and would snatch them away. She would take them into their grip. She would turn back and smile at me. That smile was cunning.

Whenever my mom asks us to help her in household chores, she would begin doing it with me and then all of a sudden she used to start yelling at me. As a child I never could understand her behavior, but now I understand why. It was because the neighbors were appreciating me for being able to do the washing of clothes and cleaning of dishes so good at such a young age. She heard all that and every single time this situation occurred to us she kicked me out.   

I was making a handmade greeting card for my parents for their anniversary. She was watching me make it and did not say a word. She kept starring and when I asked what is that starring about she said’ “what a waste of time is this”. I said it’s none of your business and continued doing it. I finished it and went to collect flowers from our garden. When I came back, she sat in my father’s lap and was telling him, “daddy look she is trying to butter you with this rubbish, she has not prepared for her exams yet and she is wasting her time on this. She is definitely going to use this as an excuse from doing her homework daddy. What a clever girl daddy”.

She took me out to teach riding a bicycle and threw me down intentionally. She took me to her friend’s birthday party and mocked me intentionally. We were walking our way back to home one night and she suddenly pushed me apart and asked me walk in the middle of the road. It was pitch black. I couldn’t see anything. I fell in a deep dirty pit hole. I got my leg injured and she was so happy. I was terrified and was requesting her to pull me out, she took a moment to enjoy it. The neighbor’s came out because their dog started barking. She saw them coming for my rescue and then pulled me out. I came home and did not say a word, because though I was just 10 years old, I understood that my father is not going to believe me. My mom would listen to me, but she wouldn’t accept it, so I just kept quiet.

I have dog phobia. The neighbor’s dog was unchained and my parents were not around, she called me to play outside. I was a kid, I am supposed to trust my elder sister, besides she was the only one I had to play with. Though I had a hint that something is wrong I still went out and started playing. She made me sit there and she went straight to the neighbor’s door and opened it. The dog came running towards me and what happened next is that she left me. I stood there sweating, scared to death, I almost fainted. I was so scared I couldn’t utter a word. My mind went numb from then onwards. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t think of why she was doing all this to me. How was I supposed to know I was just a kid.

At one point when we both grew up, my aunt happened to notice her behavior. I prepared lunch for everyone and I went to freshen up a bit. My aunt saw that she was trying to mess it up. At first she did not believe but later my aunt understood what was going on. She talked to me about it. I was so happy that after all these years there is someone with whom I talk. My aunt tried to talk to my mother about it but my mom as usual did not accept it.

She got a high paying job and I ended up jobless. This made my parents belief even more stronger that she is a blessing to them and that I am a curse. Yeah, I had hell staying at home while I was jobless and I was taking care of my sister’s child while she went to work. She tried her best to find me a wrong match for marriage. Introduced me to every wrong guy she knew, but as I said before every toxic sibling is clever as a snake and innocent as a dove, every guy she introduced me to was with a high paying job. So now I am the fault piece in my father’s eyes.

Thanks to God I am married to a good man, I am blessed with a healthy child. I just couldn’t bear the toxicity of sister and my parents and so I have cut my relationship with them. I choose to do so and I am in peace.