MY ADHD AND EVIL SPIRIT ATTACHMENT STORY

 

MY ADHD-INATTENTIVE TYPE STORY

Hi all in this post I will be talking about my ADHD and how I lived through it. Actually, it will be more about an evil spirit attached to me and taking full advantage of my neurological disorder and harassing me throughout my life. This was coupled with a toxic family so there was no scope of escape.

HOW IT WAS IN MY SCHOOL DAYS?

ADHD has many variations, mine is the inattentive type. I was the one in class with a wandering mind. Teachers called me "the absent minded", but I was very adoring to my science teacher because I was always attentive in her class and I was always the first one to answer any question raised. Without any preparation I could get full scores in science till my 7^th grade. Then physics appeared in our science textbooks and my performance started dropping. Botany and zoology were the only subjects where I could score full marks. It appeared that I was not fit for other subjects. Mathematics was a nightmare for me. So I was declared a dum, a waste and worthless person by both my teachers and my father.

Now, how did I realize there is demon watching over me? Go on reading and you will know.

Whenever I tried putting effort in my studies there was a strong feeling in my body, I felt feverish but there was no fever, I felt like thoughts are being poured into my mind forcefully, my mind went absent for hours. No matter how determined I was, I just couldn’t read a line from my textbook. There were hallucinations/visions in which I could see myself falling in a very deep dark pit. While walking I would suddenly feel my feet being pulled and being dragged into the dark pit and I would end up in a state of shock and left with sweating and anxiety. I couldn't talk to anyone, not knowing what was happening to me I virtually locked myself away from the world outside. I remember struggling for hours to just be able to focus on one line and ending up crying all night not knowing what was happening to me. This started happening even with my favorite subjects which I normally loved to read. My father and my mother were a great support, all they did was yelling at me and say, "you are a curse to us, look how your sister is doing in academics and look at you". They started giving assurances that I am unfit for education and that I will end up being married to a man and have kids with him and be a house wife for the rest of my life, they started telling me to give up and that I am not capable of achieving anything. 

My pastor was a doctor by profession, according to him my problem was the adrenaline being released in my body due to stress, but when I kept telling him all about my dreams and visions, he could not deny that there was demonic interference. There was no single night for me without nightmares. I could see snakes and pythons revolving around me in my dreams and I used to wake up in the middle of the night sweating and fully disturbed. Whenever I spoke to any boy of my class I would end up dreaming of being sexually abused by him at that very night. I totally isolated myself from people at this phase of life. I was becoming sick both mentally and physically, I was scared of sleeping because most of the times it was rape in dreams, and the dreams in which I could find myself in an extremely awkward situation of forgetting to wear shirt (half naked) before going to school and hiding myself in school premises out of shame.        

I was good in extracurricular activities. Whenever I bagged a medal and an appreciation for my performance it was followed with a disastrous attack on me. I performed in a debate competition and I stood first, the next week the same teacher who couldn’t stop himself from appreciating me ended up shouting at me in front of the whole school. Here is what happened, I was asked to give a speech to present in morning assembly time and it was the day my school was being inspected by some auditors. I kept asking the teacher what I am I supposed to talk about on stage that day and he was not answering me, I kept asking and he gave me confusing answers. One day as the day of inspection of school was coming close I asked him sir please tell me what should I speak about on stage, you haven’t given a topic and he said, “Did I ask you to prepare for a speech, did I? because I don’t remember?” I was like OK, he doesn’t even remember giving me a task, so I backed off. The day finally came and all of a sudden my name was called out on stage and said she is going to give us a speech on this ‘X’ topic. I was shocked and I denied.

The teacher came to class and gave the best memory of my life. He threw whatever he had on his desk on my face and hurled abusive words at me. I went out of the class and cried. There was no body to talk to. My father was called to school and in the principal’s office the teacher started shouting at me in front of all other teachers. Everybody was just staring at me. I went and sat in my class, nobody talked to me, the staring continued. I went home, my father came to know about this situation through my sister, and he started beating me with his belt and called me forgetful and absent minded. He said he shouldn’t have had me, he should have stopped having kids after my sister, and they called me a curse. This is not the only incident that I want to talk about. Please go on reading. Please read it till the end especially if you are a parent because there might be another me and you might want to be a different parent. Don’t just say you love your child, believe them and take a stand for them. There are evil spirits existing in this world whose only task is to torment your child.

I was playing a badminton match during sports week in school and I was about to beat my senior girl with just one point, the crowd started cheering for me and I lost it, I lost all of the points to her. There was a sudden downfall in my game. She won the match. When I was walking home I was thinking, “What happened, why it always happens to me”.

Later I joined a table tennis coaching program and I was the top player. It happened again. I was the one who always wins in practice sessions and it was tournaments final match one day, I was playing, the other girl was nervous because she knew I was going to beat her. It was something I did every day. I was the best of them all. I was not nervous, I was not nervous last time during badminton match either, I lost the game to her. I don’t know how. All I did was feeling shocked, captured, controlled by something. I went to the washroom and I cried for hours. 

There was a teacher who was very fond of me and she appreciated me in a meeting with my parents saying that she is a very disciplined girl, very polite, always tidy, she has got the best handwriting in class and right after that every other teacher started telling her how they don’t like me and she turned against me. Someone else’s mistake was rubbed on me and it happened when I was on a leave due to sickness. When I came back she was being rude and I got confused. Then the situation got cleared and I came to know that a friend wrongly blamed me for a very big mistake that she has done. While I was on a leave all of this happened and entire school staff believed that it was me. After I came back I cleared it with the teacher and proved that it was not me, but it left a remark on me with all the other teachers in school.

Evil spirits can control minds and actions of people and it is a very easy task for them. The problem is that we don’t believe such things happen. To most of us evil spirits means, bad dreams, hauntings, accidents, and murders and rapes, possession, but actually only the one who has experienced an evil spirit over him or her since childhood will only understand the agony of it and will know how easily and how actively an evil spirit works to destroy lives of people. 

We don’t trust our children. There is a pattern evil spirits follow. They create the differentiation in parents mindsets. They choose one over the other. They decide that one should be happy (the smart child) and the other should always be in agony. Whenever their target child is happy and making a slight progress, they raise themselves in full power and they crush the child's spirit. Most of the time parents are used by the evil spirits for such tasks. They cannot bear the child's happiness.

I was in my teenage that I actually realized that there is some invisible cloud like power over me and it hates me. Every single time I laughed it made sure I cry after that. It was so strong over me that whenever I would laugh even over a small talk with someone I would know that something disastrous would definitely happen to me and I would end up crying. This pattern of attacks were happening over me until I came to Christ. It was calm for over an year and a half after I was saved, but little did I know that it was the calm before the storm. I went through hell for many years after I accepted Christ as my savior, because those evil spirits returned to me in seven folds this time and I was too naive to handle them. It would have been easier for me if my pastor believed me, but he didn't. Now that I have learnt to confess and rebuke evil powers, it is a bit of silence in my life now.  

All I do now to protect myself and my child and husband from evil spirits is, I make a confession. Every night before sleep I confess out loud and say, In Jesus name I command every evil spirit to stay away from me and my child and my husband for all this night and all day and night coming tomorrow, I cancel every demonic attack being plotted against all three of us. And it works. That's not it there is more to this, keep reading. This confession worked for a few days, but then again another attack happened. I was playing with my child in the backyard and I was very happy from the inside of my soul and suddenly I felt that this will not be tolerated by the thing above. That same night, my husband came home injured, he had bruises all over, I asked what happened and he said I fell over my bike, the bike just got skid. I did not react over it. After two days my husband started talking to me about the incident. He asked me with a very doubtful face and said, "if I tell you some very unrealistic thing, will you believe me". I said yes, why will I not believe you. Then he said, "that night two days ago, when I got injured, I felt like my bike's handle was forcefully pulled aside by something like, some very big, giant spirit. I was going at a very low speed and I was talking to my friend who was sitting behind, there was no scope of accident in that spot, there was no sand or grease on the road, I just cannot deny this feeling that someone pulled my bikes handle, but there was nobody that I could see." I immediately understood what it was and I told my husband I do believe you. I told him that it was an evil power and that I have also experienced evil spirits many times in my life, although I did not get into the details of it, but I gave him an assurance that I believe him. 

From then on my confessions changed and it was- "In Jesus name I cover my child, my husband, and myself with the blood of Jesus, I command every evil spirit to stay away from us for all this night and all day and night coming tomorrow, I cancel every demonic activity being plotted against all three of us and I cover my house, my husbands car and bike and my bike with the blood of Jesus". Amen.        

My pastor failed to identify the spirit that was on me and he never believed in what all I said. It was after 10 years of me walking with Christ, I got delivered from this evil spirit, it was the spirits of Incubus, succubus and lilith. It was pastor Vladimir Savchuk who's guidance released me from the entire curse I had over me and I am very thankful to him. I had to rebuke and break free from soul ties(my mom), I had to rebuke spells and curses over me that were from the bloodline and now I feel free. It is important to rebuke evil spirits by its name, only then it will be removed, because of not having the knowledge of it my pastor could not deliver me from it. He prayed multiple times and rebuked evil powers over me but nothing worked. After a few years he lost his calm and he asked me to never visit again.  

Many times in life I had this bad experience with exams where I went well prepared and confident but I couldn’t write. Despite my best efforts to explain nobody believed me. I couldn’t move my pen. My pen just seemed glued to paper, my hand refusing to cooperate. I just couldn’t write. I used to experience a sudden pain in my entire hand making it impossible for me to write. This perplexed situation repeated itself countless times and nobody believed me. Literally no one.    

I used to fall sick so many times, it was headaches, specific body parts used to pain horribly, extreme weakness. I requested my parents to take me to the hospital and the results showed nothing. It turned me into a curse to my parents.

How I came to know there was a spirit attached to me?

Well now I know. The spirit attached to me rejoices when I cry. After I turned 30, I was crying in my home sitting in a corner and the spirit talked to me. It was a cruel but a happy voice and it said, “It’s been so long I haven’t seen you crying like this, I love it when you sit and cry out loud”.

I froze. I recalled and I realized that it has been more than a month I haven’t cried like this. I always cry like this. I sit in that corner of my house and I think of how big failure I am in life and that there is no more hope, everything that everybody ever spoke about me, “that she is a waste, fit for nothing, only capable of getting married and raising children”, came true.

I told me pastor about this voice and he said it is an evil spirit. I started searching for answers and I found out that there are things like soul ties and soul tags and spiritual spouse. Finally, I did confess my sins and I got myself freed from this spirit. Vlad Savchuk was the pastor whose videos helped me through getting self-deliverance.

He spoke about spiritual spouse which seemed related to me in every direction. There was a spirit attached to me since my childhood and it made sure that I am not liked by anyone, it made sure that I always fail in everything. It was there to fail me every time I was making some sort of progress. It made sure I live in misery all the time. It made sure I had no friends. It was a satanic cloud around me. Unaware of what was happening and why it always happens to me, I lived in self-doubt. I lived a curse. My entire childhood was a curse. My youth was a curse. I had countless nights where I spent all night crying and with bulged out eyes I used to attend school and college. Everybody around me knew that I was cursed, it is just that they never said it out.    

How far have I reached with treating my ADHD?

Well first I had taken up a treatment for depression, because the depression was overwhelming and I was becoming suicidal. I have a child now who happened to be the reason for me to think I should be alive and seek for a medical help for this depression.

Later I talked to my psychiatrist about my inattentiveness and got medication for it.

One important thing I want all of you to know that I was attacked while I was getting treated for my depression. Once I put myself on anti-depressants the spirit lost its access to my mind. I was attacked by evil powers and the attacks were happening through my husband who usually is very supportive unlike my parents. So attacks can happen from anywhere and through anyone around you, don't be surprised. Evil spirits bring shame on to you to crush you down. My husband started shouting at me for nothing when we were surrounded by people. This is the strategy of evil spirits. 

Right after I started taking medication for depression, on the very first day itself, I felt like the storm in mind has silenced. There was no negative thoughts. No headache. No crying spells. It was peace. Though there was a little drowsiness but that disappeared with continuity of medication. Then I understood both physical and spiritual well-being are essential for life. Getting divine help, cleansing yourself of all sins and getting freed from every curse is as important as getting medication.

Many pastors preach and encourage believers to not to consume any medication but to depend on God alone. This is absolutely wrong. For some pastors reading newspaper is also a sin. Taking medicines is a sin according to them and they say that it is like insulting God or not having faith in God. That’s all rubbish if you ask me. According to my experience both work hand in hand.   

Evil spirits create a situation first. Then turns people’s minds against you. It makes the other person think negative about you, like how clumsy you are, what a waste you are.

What comes out of mouth is what is filled inside the mind. It made my husband talk negative about me in a restaurant and I was defending myself, all of a sudden he started shouting at me in front of all, which I couldn’t bear. Bringing shame on to you is one strong weapon of devil. I came home and locked myself in my room. I was not thinking of suicide, I was just crying and then a spirit came and circled around me, it was reminding me of some past incidents where my husband was mocking me of my forgetfulness and some incidents where my husband out of frustration shouted at me. And the spirit said, “he doesn’t like you, you should kill yourself”. It was forcing me to get up and to hang myself.

This might seem like a medical condition to most of the people but someone who has experienced it will only know the truth. The spirit was moving around me like a snake moves around its target. I could feel the wavy movement of it around my body.

My husband is a good man. It is annoying for anybody to tolerate an ADHD Inattentive partner. That is what was happening with him. Though my husband got irritated sometimes, mocked me and shouted at me, every time he did that he also apologized sincerely. He never says I love you, never takes me on surprise dates, he never gave me any fancy gift till today, but I am so thankful to have a husband like him because he cares for me like I am his child. He makes sure he is there with me whenever I am sick. He makes a call from office just to make sure whether I had my meals on time. He expresses love through his deeds. Even after his late working hours he comes home and finds out that I am tired taking care of the child, he feeds me first and then he finishes all house hold chores.

The spirit of python   

I kept telling my pastor and my psychiatrist that I am feeling like my tongue is protruding out of my mouth and touching my mouth but no one believed. This spirit kept attacking me for more than 20 years now. I still feel its presence around me sometimes. My pastor said it was nothing but my imagination. He made fun of me in front of everyone so others don’t think low of him. Mocked me every time I approached him in this regard. At one point he asked me not to come to him for help and said he cannot do anything. My psychiatrist said that this is the result of chemical imbalance in my mind happening due to extreme depression and that I have to continue my medication for at least 3 years and if I quit it will worsen.   

After I turned 33, Pastor Vlad Savchuk’s videos on self-deliverance helped me. I now entered into a phase of life where there is a give and take relationship between God and me in which he gets me to pray for my father’s soul and I get protection against this horrible spirit in return. This is what is working for me as of now and I am living in peace.

Vitamin d levels   

Whenever I feel like depression is seeping in again, all that mind-flooding negative thoughts and heaviness on head ending up with headaches and irritation is coming back, I check my vitamin d levels and get medication for it. I am a stay at home mom and I usually never step out in sun. Over all these years of my struggles with depression and ADHD, I now understand my body statistics. I keep a check on my iron, calcium and vitamin d levels. This is helping me stay out of depression and is keeping me fit both physically and mentally.